All people who are fond of whisky are whisky collectors in a certain sense. Even if a person has only five or seven bottles of any whisky in the bar, he often puts a photo of these bottles in social networks with a note «My collection». Nevertheless, there are more serious collectors, whose stockpiles consist of hundreds of releases. However, any collection of whisky is made for a certain purpose. Do you want to know what purpose you have? Pass this test. Do not think long on what answer to choose, just prepare a piece of paper and write down the figure after the answer you selected on this paper, and then summarize these points.

1. You bought a bottle of whisky for 150 Euro in order to:

  • Drink it on a good occasion (4);
  • Expose it to a line tasting (2);
  • Leave it as it is, it is just getting more and more expensive (6);

2. You started to drink an expensive long matured whisky and you realize that you don’t like a lot of things in it. You think:

  • Well, for such money whisky just cannot be bad (6);
  • This evening is clearly a fail (4);
  • Wow, never thought that such things could happen! (2)

3. How often do you participate in tastings:

  • 1-2 times a month or less (4);
  • 1-2 times a week or more often (2);
  • I can arrange any kind of tasting myself, if I decide to open some bottles from my reserves (6);

4. When you are offered an interesting bottle at a good price, you:

  • Will ask if there are any more bottles (6);
  • Are thinking to divide it as samples via your web-group (2);
  • Remember that a friend’s birthday is coming soon, so, it is probably better to take it (4);

5. When you are told about unique features of some whisky at a presentation, you are:

  • Taking notes (2);
  • Looking forward to starting the tasting (4);
  • Checking the price of the presented release in your phone (6);

6. You have a rare bottle of whisky and you are offered to sell it. You:

  • Plan to open it for a coming great occasion, so it is unlikely that you sell it (4);
  • Add 10% to the auction price and check the reaction (6);
  • Ask whether your vis-à-vis may have a bottle you have been looking for for an exchange (2);

7. You came to visit and after the dinner the host offers you a dram of a terrific whisky. You will:

  • Tell him how the price of this bottle has changed for the last couple of years (6);
  • Drink it with pleasure, as much as possible (4);
  • Ask the host to make a sample for you so that you may sit with this whisky quietly later at home (2);

8. Does it matter what kind of whisky you drink – single malt, blended, grain?

  • Sometimes grain whisky could be more interesting than a single malt (2);
  • The main point is that whisky should be good and you must like it (4);
  • Japanese blends could be equal in price to a case of single malt whisky! (6)

9. Is it allowed to add water or ice into a good single malt whisky?

  • Why not, you have to drink whisky as you like (4);
  • This is called «An Idiot Cocktail» (6);
  • You even have to add water in order to open up the flavour characteristics of the product (2);

10. Does duration of wort fermentation influence the organoleptics of whisky?

  • Rather yes, than no (2);
  • What’s the difference, the most important that they have to make a good whisky (4);
  • This is all a marketing stuff, they just want to earn more (6).

Summarize the points and see what category you are in:

(54-60) Businessman. The financial side of whisky is of the primary importance for you. Basically, you could be equally interested in anything else that could potentially generate revenue. Just we know that there is no better category than whisky. Your collection is your gold and currency reserve. Beware, crises are cyclical and the next is not far off!

(46-52) Businessman-Hedonist. Despite the fact that you like a financial approach very much and the figures of the growing value of bottles in your collection warm your soul, you love whisky not only for that, but also for the pleasure that a good dram brings you. Although you add more bottles to your collection than you take from it for drinking, you never forget to open something good for yourself.

(36-44) Hedonist. Your love for whisky is absolutely pure and selfless. In exchange, whisky gives you unforgettable moments of pleasure. You’re making stocks just because you don’t want to miss nice bottles, but your collection is a real bar. That’s why your friends love you so much!

(26-34) Hedonist-Geek. Whisky is beautiful, and what surrounds it is even more beautiful – heather hills, brave men in kilts, experienced old coopers and copper pot stills. With all that the content of glass becomes even more attractive, and your stories about whisky and whisky history leave a long-lasting impression on your friends. It is possible to find whisky of all kinds and types of whisky in your collection.

(20-24) Geek. How can they make such a magic drink? Why has someone succeed in it, and someone did not? What’s the secret? Raw materials? Equipment? People? The answer surely exists and you are looking for it, not having time to open another bottle from your collection, which resembles more a catalogued scientific library (even if to ignore a huge quantity of vials with samples). А scientist needs to have a sober mind. What to do, someone has to bear this burden.

P.S. If you are a wife of a whisky collector, and you “have devoted your whole life to this fool», you may also want to know more about your idiot-husband, who spends tremendous money on whisky. Ask him to pass this test and just replace in the last part the terms «geek», «hedonist» and «businessman» for the words «anorak», «alcoholic» and «huckster» 😉

Alexey Nearonov